Raising children is one of the most difficult and fulfilling tasks in the world and one for which you may feel that you are least prepared.
Here are nine parenting tips that can help you feel more fulfilled as a parent, and also enjoy your children more.
1. Boost your child’s self-esteem
Children begin to develop their sense of self as infants when they see themselves through the eyes of their parents. Your children pick up on your voice tone, body language, and facial expressions. More than anything else, your words and behavior as a parent have an effect on your child’s self-esteem growth. Allowing children to do something for themselves will make them feel capable and powerful. Praise for successes, even small ones, will make them proud. Demeaning comments or negative comparisons with other children, on the other hand, will make them feel worthless.
Avoid making leading statements or using hurtful language. Comments like “How foolish!” or “You behave more like a baby than your little brother!” can be as damaging as physical blows. Choose your words wisely and with compassion. Tell your children that everyone makes mistakes and that you still love them even if you don’t agree with their actions.
2. Recognize good deeds
Have you ever considered how many times a day you react negatively to your children? You may discover that you criticize them far more than you compliment them. How would you feel if your boss treated you badly, even if he or she had the best of intentions?
The most positive approach is to recognize children’s good deeds: “You made the bed without even being asked, that’s great!” or “I was watching you while you were playing with your sister, and you were extremely patient.” These comments will be far more effective than repeated reprimands in encouraging long-term good behavior.
Make it a point to find something to be thankful for every day. Be generous with your rewards – Your love, hugs, and praise can do wonders and are usually enough to satisfy. You’ll soon realize that you’re “cultivating” more of the behavior you want to see.
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3. Set boundaries and maintain consistency in your discipline.
Discipline is required in all homes. Discipline’s goal is to teach children acceptable behaviors and self-control. They may push the boundaries you set for them, but they are necessary for them to grow into responsible adults.
Setting house rules teaches children about your expectations and helps them develop self-control. Some rules may include not watching television until homework is completed, as well as not allowing hitting, name-calling, or hurtful teasing.
It is recommended that you implement a system: a warning followed by consequences, which can be penance or loss of privileges. A common mistake parents make is not following through with consequences. You can’t discipline kids for a bad answer one day and ignore the fact the next. Being consistent teaches them what you expect.
4. Make time for your children
It is frequently difficult for parents and children to gather for a family meal, let alone spend quality time together. However, there is probably nothing more appealing to children than that. Get up 10 minutes earlier to have breakfast with your children, or leave the dishes in the sink and go for a walk after dinner. Children who do not receive the attention they desire from their parents frequently overreact or misbehave because they believe that by doing so, they will receive it.
Many parents find it rewarding to set aside time for their children. Schedule a “special night” for your family each week and let your children help you decide how to spend the time. Find other ways to bond, such as putting a note or something special in the kids’ lunch boxes.
Adolescents appear to require less individual attention from their parents than younger children. Because there are fewer opportunities for parents and teens to spend time together, parents should make every effort to be present when their children express a desire to talk or participate in family activities.
Attending concerts, games, and other events with your teen is a great way to show affection while also learning important information about your child and his friends.
If you are a working parent, don’t feel bad about it. Children will remember the little things you do, such as making popcorn, playing cards, or looking out the window.
5. Set a good example.
Young children pick up a lot about how to act from their parents. They imitate it more when they are smaller. Before you react aggressively or become angry in front of your child, consider the following: is this how you want your child to act when he or she is angry? Keep in mind that your children are constantly watching you. According to research, children who hit tend to mimic their parents’ aggressive behavior.
Set a good example of the qualities you want your children to have: respect, warmth, honesty, kindness, and tolerance. Give generously. Do things for others without expecting anything in return. Express your gratitude and praise. Above all, treat your children the way you would like others to treat you.
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6.Prioritize communication.
Children, like adults, want and deserve explanations and cannot be expected to do everything simply because their parents “say so.” If we do not take the time to explain, children will begin to question our values and motivations, as well as the foundations upon which they are built. Parents who reason with their children allow them to understand and learn without passing judgment on their values.
Make it clear what you expect. If there is a problem, describe it, express your feelings, and invite your child to work with you to find a solution. Make a point of mentioning the consequences. Make recommendations and offer alternatives. Also, be open to hearing your child’s suggestions. Make a deal. Children who participate in decision-making are more motivated to carry them forward.
7. Be flexible and willing to adapt your parenting style.
If your child’s behavior often disappoints you, it may be because your expectations are unrealistic. For parents thinking about “what to do” (for example, “My child should be using the potty by now”), it may be helpful to read up on the topic or talk to other parents or child development specialists.
The environment around children has an impact on their behavior; therefore, you can change that behavior by modifying your environment. If you continually have to say “no” to your 2-year-old, find some way to restructure the environment so there are fewer things forbidden. This will be less frustrating for both of you.
As your child changes, you will need to gradually modify your parenting style. What is effective for your child today will most likely not be as effective in a year or two.
Adolescents look to their peers for role models rather than their parents. However, be sure to guide and encourage your adolescent, as well as provide proper discipline, while allowing him to become more independent. And make the most of every opportunity to build a relationship.
8. Show that your love is unconditional
You have the responsibility as a parent to correct and guide your children. However, how you express corrective guidance has a significant impact on how a child receives it. When confronting your child, avoid blaming, criticizing, or looking for fault; all of these actions can lower self-esteem and cause resentment. Instead, even when disciplining your children, make an effort to educate and encourage them. Make it clear to them that, while you wish and hope for better the next time, your love is unconditional.
9. Be aware of your own needs and limitations as a parent.
Recognize that you are not a perfect parent. You have both strengths and weaknesses as the family’s leader. Recognize your abilities: “I am caring and committed.” Make a commitment to improving your weaknesses: “I need to be more consistent with discipline.” Try to set reasonable goals for yourself, your spouse, and your children. You don’t have to know all the answers – just enjoy yourself.
Also, make parenting a manageable task. Rather than attempting to tackle everything at once, concentrate on the areas that require the most attention. Recognize when you are exhausted. Take time away from parenting to do things that make you happy as a person (or as a couple).
Putting your needs first does not imply that you are selfish. It simply means that you care about your own well-being, another important value for your children to take as an example to follow.
